Thought
by A Soldier Of My Own
Summary: It wasn't as if she could turn back time...False promises she could bear, a painful embrace she could endure. But letting him go...? Never...
1. Part I Thought

-1_A/N: I do not own Inuyasha, nor anything affiliated with it. The following is my quote, do not steal it._

_-Is it so hard to be loved? hold me close...And never let go._

--

**Part I**

_I thought..._

It wasn't as if she could turn back time.

Everything she had done up until now had been for nothing. It was all a lie. She had been cast aside, tossed out like yesterdays trash. It felt...terrible. But how else was it supposed to feel?

She didn't know what to do with herself. For days she moped beneath the tree, that fateful meeting place, listlessly plucking at the lifeless hem of her blouse as she perched on the edge of Goshinboku's roots in silent sorrow.

How could he just use her like that?

It was a disgrace. She felt ashamed of herself. She hated that she had believed his lies. "I'll protect you," he had said. "Don't worry," he had told her. "I love you," he had promised. But he was nothing more than a two-faced liar.

_I thought..._

Everything she had hoped for had dissolved into little more than a fantasy she could carry along with her in her heart or hearts. It was foolish to think they could ever be together. Not when _she _was around.

It seemed as though he cast her aside whenever that...That _girl _showed her face. Granted, they might have been mirror images, but she was not beneath insulting her beauty and her innocence. She always felt as though he loved _her _more. Inside, she knew it. But she did not want to admit it.

_Inside_, she kept hoping, and wishing, and dreaming that someday, maybe someday, they could be together. Someday he would run back into her arms and whisper sweet nothings once again. False promises she could bear, a painful embrace she could endure. But letting him go?

_I thought..._

Never.

And so it was that she allowed herself to fade away. Her soul fled silently, receding back into the darkness from whence it came. And Kikyou was at last resting in peace. But deep down inside, in her dreams and her long forgotten mind, she an Inuyasha still held one another tightly. Locked in an eternal embrace, they vanished into the depths of hell to be forgotten by all.

And to her fading regret, the only name that was ever on his lips was... "Kagome..."

_I thought...You loved me..._

_--_

_A/N: Ah, a one-shot. Just a thought that popped into my mind one day. For some reason, the words cut deeper than they should have..._


	2. Part II Never

-1_A/N: As per request, I have decided to expand this a bit. We'll see how far this takes us. This quote, is mine. Do not take it, or I shall destroy you._

_-A long forgotten dream hangs between us. Don't you remember me?_

--

**Part II**

_You never..._

And she wept.

Wept for the moments they had shared. The tender touches, the kind smiles, and the endearing glances. And she wept.

She wept because she knew she had given everything up just to be with him. And as the blood coursed down her arm and soaked the ground beneath her failing body, she found that she had no strength left but to hate.

It was easy, she began to believe, to hate something that you cared for so _deeply_. She felt her eyes close, and memories darkened her mind, stains that she could not remove, that plagued her every thought.

Kind eyes that held her in thrall. Knowing smiles shared between two young lovers who were doomed to be apart. A world of differences separated them.

_You never..._

She had been foolish to think she could overcome such a vast barrier. There was nothing she could ever do to be with him.

But for a time it was nice to dream. It was nice to pretend that what they had could last, and that they would be together forever. She should have known better. She should have understood...

Her heart was frail now, and had been broken too many times today. Grasping feebly at the soft grass beneath her pale fingers, she dreamt of a time when things could have been simple, and she might have been a normal woman, living a normal life.

But she could never be normal.

_They _could never be normal _together_.

It was a dream. A long forgotten dream that had faded into dust. She watched it crumble beneath the weight of all her hopes and fears, and she watched, as it was blown away by the distant winds of change.

She should have known.

And as she plucked her bow from the blood-stained ground, she felt a new life rise within her. One that devoted itself to hate, and vengeance. She would call upon that life, that brief flicker of inner strength, to help her slay the _demon_.

_You never..._

Yes, he _was _a demon. She no longer saw what he _might _have been. She saw what he _was_. And she knew that it was time to end this. To end him. And to end..._Her_.

And as she hobbled after him, only one thought resounded in her mind; _Why?_

It was a question that would haunt her through eternity. One she would never be able to answer, but know the truth all the same. It was a curse, and a blessing, she decided.

And as she pulled the string of her bow back to meet her cheeks, she suddenly saw love bloom once more. It shone brightly before her, in the form of silver hair and golden eyes. And she could not kill him. She simply _could not_...

"_Die_, Inuyasha!"

_You never loved me...Did you?_

_--_

_A/N: Second part an unknown number. This is for MizuTatto. Because she requested it, and gave me the courage to write another tragedy. _


	3. Part III Belong

-1_A/N: Part three. Enjoy. And do not use my quotes._

_-Passion is only fleeting. The fire it ignites is eternal..._

--

**Part III**

_I do not..._

They say that water is the purest of all elements. That it cleanses your body and mind and allows you to experience a freedom you never had.

But not for her.

For her, it was _fire_.

Everything had burned away, and there was nothing left but a memory. A memory of something no one could seem to recall. It was like waking up from a bad dream, and realizing you'd been sleeping for eternity.

She felt the pull in the darkness, felt the soft words that were spoken to her in the shadows. And she tried to fight them. But the calling was too strong. She was being summoned, summoned out of the abyss she had cast herself in.

It wasn't a pleasant feeling. It tugged and pulled and incessantly called to her soul. She tried to ignore it, she tried to flee. Really, she did...

But it was too strong.

_I do not..._

And so, she allowed herself to be thrust back into a body that was not her own. A clay mold, created to house her broken and shattered soul, and bind her to the mortal world.

She had no business here.

And so, she watched, as the silver haired man who haunted her every step fought to save a woman that _should _have been her.

She watched, and she waited.

She waited, and she watched.

A rush of powerful air entered her body and she suddenly felt whole for the first time since her resurrection. What was it she had been missing? Oh, yes. A soul.

That was it.

And she destroyed that which had called her back from the dead. The foul creature was spent spiraling into the darkness that she loved so very deeply. The darkness that she toyed with, the shadows that danced about her eyes.

_I do not..._

And it felt good, to kill.

It felt good.

It felt right.

It felt...

Perfect.

"Inu...Yasha..."

_I do not...Belong here..._

_--_

_A/N: Part three. I am going to do one shots and drabbles about other characters. I am bored. Feel free to ask for a specific character and I would gladly write something for them._


	4. Part IV Memory

_-1A/N: The final installment of 'Thought.' Enjoy. And do not steal my quotes._

_-When you feel like your falling, and everything has shattered, come to me, my darling...And I will be your wings..._

--

**Part IV**

_I can't..._

The ground was spattered with water. A pale hand lifted to touch her moist cheek, and came away damp with the bitter and angry tears that poured from her tired eyes.

She fisted her fingers into her garments, and sat quietly beneath the branches of the giant tree she had come to rest beneath.

Ebony locks frame her pale face, and cascaded down her back.

She blinked once. Twice. And then smiled.

It was too late.

"It's always been to late, hasn't it?" she whispered into the air. But if the forest heard her, it gave no indication. It was silent. And cold.

"Like me," she mused quietly.

Long forgotten and alone.

Hopeless.

Distraught.

Hurt.

Angry.

En_raged_...

_I can't..._

Her emotions swirled together in a vat of desperation. A desperation born of a hate that had transcended even death. She felt alone again, and forgotten. She knew she wasn't.

"Am I on your mind, too?"

Did he think of her as often as she thought of him? She wondered if he even knew her name anymore. No. He was too content now, too complacent. He had settled with the other miko, the one who was an imitation of _her_.

He had been _tamed_...

She was nothing more than a distant memory.

A whisper on the wind.

A silent thought on a dark night.

_I can't..._

"I thought you loved me."

It had all been a lie. _False _promises and sweet _nothings_. He never really cared for her. He would not have forgotten the time they shared so easily if he really had.

She should have _made _him remember.

She should have taken him to hell...

"You never loved me, did you?"

Her hand closed around the soft wood of her bow, and her knuckles faded to white.

Brown eyes smoldered with anger, and she suddenly found that an overwhelming desire to hurt something had resurfaced in her broken and battered mind.

It had happened more than once by now.

Something was _wrong _with her.

Something was terribly, terribly _wrong_...

"I do not...Belong here..."

_I can't..._

It was a sad murmur, a disheartened whisper. She hated herself for giving up. And she hated him for forcing her to. But her time had come. And she was lost...

It was all so hard to bear...

It was all to tough to endure...

She wanted to disappear.

She wanted to fade away forever.

She would do _just that_.

And she would be nothing more...Than a memory...

"I can't...Love you anymore..."

_Inuyasha..._

**-Fin-**


End file.
